Movies Like Red Line Prove Americans are Morons.

April 15th, 2007 | email this | digg it

Leave your comment Posted by Mr. Tickles

Published in Burned, Crazy, Grudge, Hate, Jackass, Money, Mr. Tickles, News, Rant

People wonder why other countries hate us, and laugh at us, this is a reason why. This flaming pile of shit comes out, starring fast cars getting in crashes, whores, and terrible acting. Sadly, I’m willing to bet this film, if you can call it that, will be a box office smash. They will slop out piles of junk like this every year because the retard demographic is ASTOUNDINGLY HIGH in this country. OMG CARZ N CHICKZ!!! AWESOME!!!! It sickens me. Just like The Fast And The Furious, just like You Got Served, just more mockery of film making, and you dopey fucks eat it up like cereal. I’m sorry, no inner city youths settle their differences with a fucking dance off, you fucks. The people who write movies like this should have their wrists bashed with a nail bat, so they can never write anything again.

If you wanna see fast cars in crashes, watch NASCAR, if you wanna see whores acting badly, watch a porno, you depraved fucks. Quit seeing these movies that crap up the theaters, while actual FILM MAKERS can have those spots. You wonder why most of the critically acclaimed movies are things you’ve never heard of. Stuff this year like The Last King of Scotland, starring Forrest Whittaker, or Half Nelson, starring Ryan Gosling, you know, actual movies with plots and structure and such. I’m not a film major, I’m not some dick wad in the business, I’m just your average shlub, but I actually have a mind.

I do realize that I won’t stop these films, the mindless will continue to go out in droves, like zombies, and give their hard earned money to these Vultures who will continue to mass produce these fucking flicks, just like the music industry, who will make the same songs and same artists over and over again, because your too stupid to notice it stinks. Fuck you all.

11 Responded To This Post

51. Martin said in April 15th, 2007

Dear Mister Ebert,

This blog is supposed to be comprised of anonymous and offensive posts. Your reasoned, literate critique of this film is giving away your identity. In the future, please use more profanity and violent imagery so readers will not conclude that you are the pudgy indoor-face that we all know and love.

Sincerly,
Martin

53. Mr. Tickles said in April 15th, 2007

Oh come on! I may be a tubby nothing, but I’m not Ebert!

59. no said in April 15th, 2007

this article proved you are a moron

60. Nick said in April 15th, 2007

I lol’d at “[…] because your too stupid to notice it stinks.,” due to the irony.

62. WayneJunction said in April 15th, 2007

I’d say that’s a lot of anger. Plus if you think American movies suck; have you eber seen one from India?

63. Mr. Tickles said in April 16th, 2007

Thank you to “no”….what a dumb fucking name that is, for making his statement and not backing up whatever point he tried to make. I hate white teenagers.

To Wayne, I think I’d rather watch someone milk a cow for two hours then to watch movies like Red Line. I’d rather watch a movie from India for the hopes that they would show a Funeral Pyre.

77. The voice of reason said in April 17th, 2007

I picture you sitting there with a newsie or Castro hat, a “Further Seems Forever” shirt, tight-ass jeans with a cigarette in your mouth, writing this while listening to some shitty muzak that goes with your local-coffeehouse coffee, because you’re too hip and individual for Starbucks. This article just proves what a lame-ass wannabe-college Bohemian hipster you are. You’re not Maddox, and you’ll never be Maddox, so I highly advise you to quit trying now. Nothing about this blogpost is interesting whatsoever.

81. Mr. Tickles said in April 17th, 2007

Actually, I sit in my sweats, eating low fat yogurt cuz I’m a pudgey bowl of awfulness, I don’t smoke because I have a brain, and I listen to old Opie and Anthony shows, or some Edguy, Megadeth, Down, or a comedy album by the likes of Brian Regan, Dice Clay, etc etc.

I’m not trying to be Maddox, though I find him hilarious. He has his own style, and I have mine. He likes to draw pictures to go with his musings, I’m too lazy. Hes serious about what he writes, even landing a book deal, I do this because I’m fucking bored and I got things on my mind. So, just as pathetic as I am for writing this tripe, your THAT much worse responding to it. Thank you for making my day.

84. The voice of reason said in April 17th, 2007

My that much worse? What is a “that much worse” and when did I recieve one? Oh, you mean “you’re that much worse”? Alright, that’s cute and all, but seriously, it’s time to get back to English class

He has his own style, and you have yours? Your whole style is to bitch and bitch, and then hide the ambiguous gayness evident in your style by typing the word “fuck” randomly. Certainly, your style isn’t remotely funny. His is.

85. Mr. Tickles said in April 17th, 2007

Wow, your really digging, aren’t you? Try to read it again, Sweet Pea, you just might get it.

So, I write about things that annoy me, so that makes my a ripoff artist? Wow. I didn’t know Maddox started doing Op-Ed pieces in the 40’s. He’s excellent, but just because I write some time killer blog on some things I would like to rant on, doesn’t mean I’m trying to be him.

Then again, you must be a fan of mine, as you keep coming back, and you’ll continue to read my unfunny blog, because you have nothing better to do. So, thank you for your support.