I’m brand new to this glorious blog and I am SHOCKED that no one has talked about the connection between fat country chicks and Tweety Bird shirts. This might be one of the most mysterious connections in marketing history. Although, the guy that figured out how to sell a 1,000+ page Bible to southerners that can’t read was a pretty damned good marketer himself. He must be the same guy that sold ketchup popsicles to people in white suits.
I’m not even sure the people at Warner Bros understand it. I have yet to hear a solid theory or explanation from anyone, so let me take a stab at it. 
Here are some known facts about the shirts:
#1: If you go on eBay and search for Tweety Bird shirts, you will quickly find that they only come in sizes XXL and above. This means someone has already figured out that there is no market for Tweety Bird shirts in non-fat American sizes like Medium or Large.
#2: There seems to be a high concentration of white trash fat chicks in the areas surrounding Six Flags amusement parks. Six Flags uses Looney Toons characters as the park mascots and sells merchandise. Low class slobs spend every last welfare dime at Six Flags. I think we’re getting warmer.
#3: Tweety Bird shirts contain hackneyed mid-9o’s buzz phrases like “I’m the Boss”, “Whatever” and “Get a Life!”. Why is this important? Fat Country people have not discovered that these terms are no longer popular anymore judging by the shitty sparkly bumper stickers that say “Princess” or “Bitch” on the back of their shit box Pontiac Sunfire, Ford Escort or Chevy Cavalier. Putting a sticker like that on the back of your car screams, “I’m always going to be fat and I want to be a single mom forever!” My point is that a marketing genius found the “Tweety demographic” and incorporated another piece of Americana from this demo.
#4: This small loveable character has some sort of psychological effect on fat chicks making them feel less fat. “See world…I’m just a small, cute, loveable yellow bird on the inside.” Not a fat disgusting slob with no taste in culture like everyone here in outside world sees.
Even with all the pieces of the puzzle laid out in front of me, there still seems to be some obvious corner piece missing. This blog is somewhat of a rant, but today I’m seeking answers. I think we deserve that.
If some of you are reading this and don’t know what I’m talking about, go to your local NASCAR event or Pop-Country Music Festival. If you truly look around and do not see any of this, then I am truly sorry for wasting your precious time. I’d love to hear your suggestions and comments.
Together, we can solve this problem and change the world. (cue Michael Jackson’s “Heal the World”)
No shit. My mom used to be fat as hell and she wore these retarded Tweety Bird shirts all the time. Thanks for opening my eyes to this horrible problem.
I only know one way we can solve this problem: Use fat people as fuel somehow. We don’t really need them, they take up space, eat too much food, and are generally lazy.