Dear Bill Gates, My Balls Thank You.

This is somewhat of a counter to an earlier post about Myspace, but on a broader scale. I know, I know, vast amounts of sluts are all over Myspace, and the Internet in general, my question is, why is that so bad? I LOVE sluts! Without sluts, how many guys would never get laid? I can’t imagine living before computers, I’d never get ass. For people like me who are terribly shy, full of anxieties, just generally not into humans, how are we to spread our filthy seed all over a chin or twelve? I’ll tell you right now, without Myspace, and before then, chat rooms, also known as the Dark Ages……..my God….the slobs I fucked…..it’s almost disgraceful….. but without this amazing tool of the Internet, without computer access being so common, I’d NEVER get ass. I can’t talk to women in the bars, or anywhere in public, I’m a Social Abortion, just awful. I’m much better with writing out my thoughts then speaking them. On top of that, with Myspace, you can look for the exact type of people you want, which is pretty God damn cool for me. I really do hate most people, and I’m at the age where I just can’t take the 30 minutes of bullshit for the 30 seconds of fun, I just cannot do it anymore. So when I see a profile and shes got a Britney Spears song playing, types like a 12 year old, has glittery butterflies all over the page, and an unhealthy obsession with American Idol, I can go to the next person. Shes got kids? I’m out! She has 500 friends? See ya!

So, are these whores REALLY all so bad? The last I checked, the exchange of fluids was a fun time, and who knows, maybe this one wasn’t as much of a whore as you thought at first, and becomes someone you can actually hang out with. Sure, it’s unlikely, your more likely to get the Herp, but, hey, who HASN’T had an STD nowadays? Buck up, soldier, it’ll help make you a man. So, how about we stop bitching about these loose women and embrace their low self esteem and take advantage of their desire to find a father figure. Bill Gates, Tom, skanks, I salute you.