If you know me, you know the thing I hate most in this world is STDs, but right after that is shitty parents. Sadly, our country is overrun with them. Take a look at the World around you, how many people with kids have you seen that your confident are good parents? If your honest with yourself, its slim to none. The main concern with me is young, single Mothers. If your 18 or 19 and pregnant, please, step in front of a speeding Bus, you’ll be doing the World a bit of good. Think back to when you were 18 or 19. Looking at it now, you know whatever relationship you are in at that time, most of the time, it’s not gonna work out. So thats one strike when getting knocked up at that age. Don’t fool yourself either, kids are statistically worse off when raised by a single parent. A Father is almost as important for a child as a Mother, yet they get none of the credit. However, this just scratches the surface.

The main problem is, when your 18, 19, even 20 years old……you barely know whats best for yourself, let alone a new born child. So now, while your worrying about how Britney will fare in the next few months, you need to share that time with a little baby. Its infuriating to see. You may as well drop these kids off in the Woods and let it be raised by Wolves, because you can’t do much worse. Look at some of these Seven and Eight year olds nowadays…. dressed like fucking whores, and in just a few more years, they will be what they dress like. Ever seen Middle School Confessions? It was a show on HBO, America Undercover type deal several years back, with 12 and 13 year olds talking about sucking cock, drinking, giving handjobs, etc. Wanna know why? Because of this very topic. One day, we just stopped treating single Mothers and young Mothers like shit. When this stuff happened decades ago, they would be treated as Pariahs and shunned by a majority of the public. Now its commonplace and almost applauded. “Good for you girl, you don’t need no man!!” Yes, you do, skank, and if not to smack you around for being a fucking dolt, then to take care of the kid when your busy going to the bar on a Wednesday. Kids raising kids, not knowing what they are doing, and bringing up the next generations of whores and criminals. Its disgusting.

Also, two other things, why the need to grow up so fast, and why the need to create another life? What happened to enjoying your youth and saving adult things for, you know, when your an adult? Shit, I’m 26, you think I want a kid at this age? Fuck no, I’m a wreck, I don’t wanna destroy a little kids life, I do a fine enough job of fucking my own life up. Don’t you people have dreams? Aspirations? A future? Instead, you’ll put your life on hold, ruin whatever career you coulda had, and put yourself and your child in a worse financial situation. This shit couldn’t wait ’til your older, or even, *gasp*, married? On top of that, why the need to bring another child into this world? Don’t we have enough people already?? Kids in Foster homes all over the place, but you need to create another life….really? Adopt if you really need a kid, but you won’t, because your selfish, you do it as an ego trip, cuz you want a little version of yourself. If it was about taking care of a life, more people would adopt, but you want another little girl who will also like horrid music and suck cocks at 13, just like you did!

There should be laws in place for having children. One, you gotta be married. I’m not big on marriage, but a married couple has a better chance of raising a healthy, happy, successful child then non-wed. Secondly, you should be over the age of 25. Thirdly, having a specific income level. I’m not sure what that level should be, but people who are financially stable. Forth, a various amount of mental testing, an IQ over 90, whatever it takes. We need to stop having nothing but idiots cranking out kids for more money on a fucking welfare check. You people stink and I hope you die tomorrow.

Dear self important, self absorbed fuckface. I hope you die.

The cell phone is the fucking worst invention ever. Hey, need a reason to be EVER MORE up your own ass? Here, have a phone where anyone can reach you at anytime!

Answer me this, besides high powered business types, Lawyers and the like, do you REALLY need to be accessible 24 hours a day? Really? Can you be anymore wrapped up in yourself? Oh wait, yes you can!! How about we take these tedious, useless conversations, and even text messages, and do them WHILE DRIVING!! Thats an amazing idea!! Why bother with paying attention to the road or your surroundings when in a couple thousand pound death machine?? Your right, being alert is just silly!

I ride a bike, I walk, and every time I do so, I nearly get run down by some fucking twat talking to her girlfriend about how her nail appointment with Mrs. Soo went. Meanwhile, I’m narrowly escaping being buried under a tire. Before cell phones were around, we had MORE then enough shitty drivers, now the numbers are fucking absurd. If your watching traffic go by, I dare you to see five cars in a row with no one on a phone. I’m shocked they don’t force drivers to take a test while on a phone, because, lets face it, this shit isn’t gonna change.

Now, the initial idea was a good one. Hey, wouldn’t it be great if you get into some emergency with your car, and you can contact family, 911, or AAA? Great idea, in theory, but its just been blown so tits out that I look at most people on a cell phone as being some sort of fucking scumbag. Have you ever worked at a place, or waited in line behind one of these fucking people? Just jabbing away about something no one could care about, ignoring the person trying to serve them, being such rude fucks in the process. I see these people and just hope the get hit by a drunk driver later in the night.

On top of that, I can’t watch late night TV anymore without getting two cell companies trying to sell you shit for your phone, EVERY commercial break. “Text sexy babes like this with “I luv poon” to 44844 now!” No, stupid. Your texting some slob, or worse yet, a dude. Its only costing you a buck a text though, so who cares, you get to whack off to fucking typed words, you desperate shitheel. That or, “To get the Monkey eating a Banana sound, text, “I hate my life” to 32109!!” No, I don’t wanna hear your Sweet Home Alabama ringtone, I don’t care about the wallpaper of a rim spinning, nor do I want to listen to “Do yo chain hang lo” while I wait for you to pick up this ringing object that is ruining the world. I really wish the rumors were true and you would get tumors from prolonged cell phone use, Lord knows you people fucking deserve it.

Much has been made of Carlos Mencia and Joe Rogan fighting. I don’t really care about Mencia really being a half German named Ned, I get that its an on stage persona, Larry The Cable Guy isn’t a real name either, thats not my problem. My problems with Carlos stem more from his act as a whole.

1. He steals jokes.

This is the main point of the Rogan and Mencia feud. Rogan isn’t really known for his stand up, but hes a solid comic, and I am on his side on this one. People wanna say its sour grapes because Mencia is a bigger name then he is, but if you think about it, Rogan hosted the wildly popular Fear Factor, was on NBC’s hit show, Newsradio, in the mid 90’s, and is heavily involved as an on air personality for UFC, which is growing by leaps and bounds. I don’t think the guy has a lot to be jealous of. I see where he comes from with this. If your a guy doing stand up, struggling with money, playing clubs on a nightly basis to hone your craft, write new material, trying to get a break, and some schmuck comes around, rips off your joke, and makes it big, wouldn’t you be pissed? Hes the guy in the office that catches wind of an idea that would help the company and runs to the boss with it, and gets all the praise and benefits from it. Thats what scumbags do. To rape someone else’s creativity, then use it as your own, and to BENEFIT from it? Its terrible, and its about time someone steps up and speaks out about this shit. If it stops someone from ripping others off, then good, we don’t need another Mencia, or Dennis Leary for that matter, who pretty much ripped off Bill Hicks’ entire act and lifestyle, just short of the dying part, which is really a shame.

2. His delivery.

Many people feel like hes a great performer, joke stealer or not, but I really don’t find him very entertaining. His delivery annoys me, he tries to get loud to prove his point, like it makes it more effective, it worked for Kinnison because he was brilliant. Mencia tries to get loud and throw some Latino slang at the end of his jokes to get a laugh, and I’ll admit, it gets over with most rubes. He tries to push himself soooooo hard as being controversial, and it shows, as his writing and general material, thats actually his, mind you, suffers. Jim Norton is MUCH more controversial, same with Doug Stanhope, and several other comics, they aren’t trying to ram how crazy they are down your throat, they use wit and good writing to get their points across, and if it pisses someone off or offends someone, all the better. I love offensive humor, disgusting jokes, but I don’t like it when someone is telling them for the sole purpose of being controversial, tell the joke if you think its funny, not because it might get your stupid face in a paper somewhere.

3. He’s Dave Chappelle, except less dark, and less funny.

Mencia got the Mind of Mencia show for one reason, and one reason only, Dave Chappelle left. They needed a replacement for the ratings being lost with Dave quitting, and here comes Carlos, with the same basic show Chappelle had. Kudos to Comedy Central for making it a success, not as big as Chappelle Show was, but Mind of Mencia has done well. If you’ll remember, when Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla left The Man Show, they tried to replace it with Doug Stanhope and, shockingly, Joe Rogan. The show failed miserably, and not because of Doug or Joe, or the material on the show, it was because everyone knew that was Adam and Jimmy’s show, and it was shitty of Comedy Central to try and use the same show that wasn’t really created by them. So, learning from their mistakes, instead of someone taking over Chappelle Show, they made up a “new” show, with another comics doing different sketches and bits. So, now we are “blessed” with Mind of Chappelle, errr, Mencia, and its just a shoddy knock off.

So when you wanna see, or hear some comedy, stop going for the guys like Mencia, who are hacks, and look into good comics, like Norton, Brian Regan, Rogan, Daniel Tosh, Stanhope, or several other comics that are legit. You can agree with me or not, it’s your call, but here are a few videos that you can check out.

Stealing from Bill Cosby

This is an Audio Clip of Mencia on a radio show about this whole thing. I apoligize for the awful radio show people, terrible fake laughs and a stupid cunt with an annoying voice. The fact they didn’t bring it up, and were laughing with him shows how fully phoney radio people are, with the exception of Opie and Anthony. Also, the Mikey Radio show?? What a terrible show name.

This is video of Joe Rogan outing Mencia on stage. I’m sure its slanted to one side, but make your own opinions.

Here is Mencia turning a Kinnison bit into a segment for his show.

This is somewhat of a counter to an earlier post about Myspace, but on a broader scale. I know, I know, vast amounts of sluts are all over Myspace, and the Internet in general, my question is, why is that so bad? I LOVE sluts! Without sluts, how many guys would never get laid? I can’t imagine living before computers, I’d never get ass. For people like me who are terribly shy, full of anxieties, just generally not into humans, how are we to spread our filthy seed all over a chin or twelve? I’ll tell you right now, without Myspace, and before then, chat rooms, also known as the Dark Ages……..my God….the slobs I fucked…..it’s almost disgraceful….. but without this amazing tool of the Internet, without computer access being so common, I’d NEVER get ass. I can’t talk to women in the bars, or anywhere in public, I’m a Social Abortion, just awful. I’m much better with writing out my thoughts then speaking them. On top of that, with Myspace, you can look for the exact type of people you want, which is pretty God damn cool for me. I really do hate most people, and I’m at the age where I just can’t take the 30 minutes of bullshit for the 30 seconds of fun, I just cannot do it anymore. So when I see a profile and shes got a Britney Spears song playing, types like a 12 year old, has glittery butterflies all over the page, and an unhealthy obsession with American Idol, I can go to the next person. Shes got kids? I’m out! She has 500 friends? See ya!

So, are these whores REALLY all so bad? The last I checked, the exchange of fluids was a fun time, and who knows, maybe this one wasn’t as much of a whore as you thought at first, and becomes someone you can actually hang out with. Sure, it’s unlikely, your more likely to get the Herp, but, hey, who HASN’T had an STD nowadays? Buck up, soldier, it’ll help make you a man. So, how about we stop bitching about these loose women and embrace their low self esteem and take advantage of their desire to find a father figure. Bill Gates, Tom, skanks, I salute you.

I figure I should get this out of the way while it’s still somewhat relevant. I also apologize for beating a dead horse.

The recent racial firestorm surrounding Don Imus is almost mystifying. Getting fired over a joke…..really? Come on. I know CBS didn’t wanna fire him, the advertisers bailed on it at the first sign of trouble, so to keep them happy, he had to go, but it stinks. He goofed on some ugly chicks, it wasn’t hateful, it was a joke, and he’s public enemy number one.

….all I wanna know is, when did we lose the freedom of speech? Maybe I sound like a dopey Hillbilly, but I thought we had a country where we can express ourselves freely, goof on people, and basically say what you want. Its pretty fucked that a guy who has been on the radio, seemingly since the dawn of man, gets booted off for making a joke. Its a part of the hypocrisy, if you make a retard joke, your an awful person, but if someone plays one in a movie, they are a brilliant artist….its bullshit. Jokes are meant for fun, they aren’t meant to be malicious. For anyone who gets offended by a goof, you need to stop taking yourself so seriously. Is it REALLY that bad to laugh at yourself once in a while?

On top of that, the hypocrites like Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, who have made their own racist, offensive remarks, that WERE NOT in a joking manner, burn this old fuck at the stake for remarks that may, or may not have been racial. Thats what happens when your the white devil, we all gotta pay for the faults of our Ancestors, while minorities can be openly racist with no consequences. I LOVE offensive humor, I LOVE Black, Jew, and Asian jokes, and especially White jokes, but its not out of hatred, its for a laugh. When we can finally all laugh at each other, laugh at ourselves, THAT is when we are gonna start to break down racial tendencies, but until then, we will just be a large group of hyper sensitive, politically correct fucks.

People wonder why other countries hate us, and laugh at us, this is a reason why. This flaming pile of shit comes out, starring fast cars getting in crashes, whores, and terrible acting. Sadly, I’m willing to bet this film, if you can call it that, will be a box office smash. They will slop out piles of junk like this every year because the retard demographic is ASTOUNDINGLY HIGH in this country. OMG CARZ N CHICKZ!!! AWESOME!!!! It sickens me. Just like The Fast And The Furious, just like You Got Served, just more mockery of film making, and you dopey fucks eat it up like cereal. I’m sorry, no inner city youths settle their differences with a fucking dance off, you fucks. The people who write movies like this should have their wrists bashed with a nail bat, so they can never write anything again.

If you wanna see fast cars in crashes, watch NASCAR, if you wanna see whores acting badly, watch a porno, you depraved fucks. Quit seeing these movies that crap up the theaters, while actual FILM MAKERS can have those spots. You wonder why most of the critically acclaimed movies are things you’ve never heard of. Stuff this year like The Last King of Scotland, starring Forrest Whittaker, or Half Nelson, starring Ryan Gosling, you know, actual movies with plots and structure and such. I’m not a film major, I’m not some dick wad in the business, I’m just your average shlub, but I actually have a mind.

I do realize that I won’t stop these films, the mindless will continue to go out in droves, like zombies, and give their hard earned money to these Vultures who will continue to mass produce these fucking flicks, just like the music industry, who will make the same songs and same artists over and over again, because your too stupid to notice it stinks. Fuck you all.

Yes, College aged douche bags and Soccer Moms, I’m someone under 50 who likes our President! I know, it’s amazing, you didn’t think we existed, we’re rare, but we’re here. I am sure some of you are saying, “What?? Impossible!! No one can like him, the media outlets say so!!” Well, tough shit. You wanna know why I like him? Because you hate him. Think about it, a man who can piss off THIS many people has to be doing something right. Every tool who knows nothing about Politics, or get their viewpoints from a Liberally bias media despises the man, which makes him one of my most favorite people. Someone who can so torture idiots, a man who can have shitty bands like Green Day write songs about their undying hatred for him, the more I think of it, the more I realize what an inspiration this guy is.

I don’t wanna hear your anti-war protests, fuck, I like that were in Iraq. When 9-11 happened, and Bush said we will get terrorists and terrorist sympathizers, everyone went nuts and ate it up. When he followed through, now its not cool? How the fuck can you be so hypocritical? Sure, Saddam didn’t bomb us, yet, but we went there for two reasons. One, intelligence had concluded they had Nuclear weapons, they were unfounded, but thems the breaks, intelligence can’t be right 100% of the time. Secondly, on that terrorist theme, this man, this regime, killed SEVERAL thousands of his own people…….get back to me, but wouldn’t that fall under the heading of terrorist? Yes, I thought so as well. So, we get the man out of power, and we are trying to help this country become somewhat civilized…..why is that wrong? I don’t care if it happens or not, but the less little building bombers that come along, the better, wouldn’t you agree? No, you wouldn’t, your stupid.

Alas, no matter what, everyone will continue to blame George for everything that has ever gone wrong in the world. You do know, he was Hitler’s right hand man, right? He also caused the Chicago Riots. Why shouldn’t you blame him? Hell, the Politicians like Jennifer Granholm, (for you Michigan folk) whom you love, do the same! She blamed the Michigan economical problems on Bush, even though people out West are making money hand over fist. How does a President effect only one state in a negative manner? It makes me sick. This state is the ONLY one thats lost jobs the last four years straight, and not only does the blame go to the President, the people of this state RE-ELECT the cunt responsible. Wow….it just blows my mind.

-Mr. Tickles