The GameStop Conspiracy has recently been noticed by everyone I talk too around this wonderful nation. It seems that most GameStops have removed most of their ethnic staff and replaced them with a White Nerd/Hot Chick combo. I thought it was simply coincidence but we have 11 GameStops within a 15 mile radius. So I drove to all of them on a search for a rare item an 10 out of the 11 stores had this white nerd and hot chick combo. The last store went above and beyond with two girls and one nerd guy. Don’t get me wrong it is a smart system to have a nerd who knows everything about the games and a female to attract the gamers and flirt. It seems to have worked. Since this new system has been in place the prices they offer have shot to almost nothing yet they pull in a lot of business.
Out of curiosity I followed this a bit more. I hunted down one of the old darker workers that I used to chum it up with and asked him what happened. He responded with this “WWB”, I asked WTF that meant and he enlightened me that it meant “Working While Black”. I asked him how does he figure and he told me that there were 5 black guys working and all 5 were dismissed within a week without cause. I figured this was a random pissy manager doing a getting a little retribution for his mother slimeballing a brother on the side. It turns out that all of brothers from 10 out of the 11 stores were dismissed and replaced with this new regime. So still wondering if it was a local thing, I asked about 20 gamers I know online and all noticed this same worker arrangement.
What caused this new Final Solution that seems to have put a lot of people out of work and given their jobs to petite little white girls who do not know what a Nintendo is? I am just curious; it was a smart business move but completely wrong on an ethic and moral ground. Since when has business been a moral situation anyways.
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Driver who was high on cocaine evading police opted to drive into a cornfield. After 4 cop cars were totaled the 34 year old man finally stopped when he wrecked in a ditch. This took place in Dussen in the Netherlands. Now we know what cocaine does to a cornfield.
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Today marks a day of shit that is fucking awesome! Hot dogs, corn on the cob, baked beans, apple pie and laziness all wrapped into one non-working weekday. Hell yeah, mother fucker!
America, the country where I live, is basically the greatest country on this planet and of course the rest of the world is a bunch of hataz that need to suck our dongs and munch our boxes. That’s right. I said it and everyone needs to recognize.
Where else can you be stupid, fat, lazy, unemployed, fat, obnoxious, fat, ignorant, intolerant, fat and RICH! How fuckin’ cool is that?! That’s true freedom. How could you not be jealous of this? Oh wait, it’s impossible and that’s why every other country on the planet is a bunch of crybaby pussy faggots!
Mexicans are risking their lives to sneak across the border to come and get some of this yummy junk. Chinese folks are stowing themselves away on boats to come and get up in this. Africans are getting really good at basketball to get here. Who can blame them. It’s fucking sweet as shit here.
Let’s look at the rest of the world for a moment. Europe is fucking gay. Russia is stupid, cold, big and poor. China is America’s bitch because badass corporations like Wal-Mart get all those fucking losers to make all their shit really cheap so we can rock out with low prices. You might say, “But China has a $1 Trillion surplus. Isn’t that scary for us?” Uh, no! Who cares. Go do my dry cleaning or something. Africa is really hot and it sucks. Don’t even get me started on the Middle East. Talk about poor urban planning. America needs to put the smack down on them and level that sand pit. Basically, everywhere else totally sucks compared to us.
When you’re sitting around on the 4th pondering all this awesome shit and you turn on the TV and see some pussy news reporter telling you how bad of a country we are for doing this or that, remember that they are full of shit and need to be shipped off to one of those butthole Middle Eastern countries if its so bad here. Make sure they get a good lick of your balls in first.
To quote one of the greatest movies of all time. “America, Fuck Yeah!”
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I went to my local small-town strip club last night with friends. Here are a few things I noticed:
What’s the fuck is up with strippers dancing to butt-rock??? Let me let these sluts in on a little secret…Nickelback, Hinder, Limp Bizkit, Korn and Creed are about the least likely of all types of music to give me an extra large veiny boner and in turn empty my pockets of all Washington’s to store between your jelly and the elastic strap holding the whole production together. Nickelback has been part of the death of real rock music and I don’t want it fraternizing with my sluts dancing on a pole. Hinder (Nickelback Light) is no better. Also, all these juggalo skanks need to realize that when I checked my huge fucking wall calendar this morning, it said 2007! Limp Bizkit, Korn and Creed were some of the worst parts of a much rather forgotten era that never needs to be revisited unless it’s on one of those crappy VH1 “I Love the Late 90’s/Early 2000’s” episodes where the D-list comedians ruin their careers even further by trying to make obvious and witty remarks over tv clips.
Next, I would love to see the dictionary of stripper names one of these days. It’s probably like two fucking pages long. Bambi, Candy (sometimes with an ‘i’), Cocoa (if she’s black), Diamond…have I covered them all yet??? I think this place actually had two Bambi’s. Let’s not just get the seminal juices going, but also the creative juices. Maybe call the person that named “Bjork” and see if they have any other spare crazy fucking names they could loan you. It might be more interesting than Shasta.
Now I know where these creep ball sexual deviants I see on NBC’s Dateline: To Catch a Predator actually come from. There was a fat 18-year old loser still wearing his Arby’s uniform sitting in the front row feeding out money like a loose slot machine. This guy showed no emotion and had a creepy mustache. He’s probably already serverly fucked in the head from looking at the other 80% of the Internet, which is all pornography or other things in the same ballpark and wanted to try his luck with a REAL smelly snatch in his face. When this guy shows up on Dateline with a 6-pack of Smirnoff Ice, condoms and a cucumber at the house and the camera crew walks out, I’ll be able to tell everyone that I knew that fucker was gonna be on this shit. And it just makes those women that much more of mega-skanks to know that they rub their stinky roast beef (maybe Big Montana?) up and down his fat, acne-laden face. “I’m thinking Arby’s!”
And what about the DJ? Did you get turned down for employment as peep show mop man? You get paid nothing to be there and play the shitty music and you barely make any tips to cover it anyway. I’m not gonna pay some hair metal burnout to play Nickelback or Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls”. Doesn’t the sleazeball owner of the club know he can just buy a computer that will shuffles all of those loser bands up? It would probably cost him more to buy the program then to keep the burnout employed, working off of zero tips and the dream that one day he might actually get to bag one of his disgusting co-workers. It’s pretty bad when he can’t even get some cat from these single mothers.
Anyway, I highly suggest you get drunk and high before you go to your next local strip club. It makes it that much better. Unless you live in Dallas, LA, NY, Miami or 5 other places where you might actually want to fuck any of the girls onstage.
Peace out like a trout.
-Mr. B
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If you know me, you know the thing I hate most in this world is STDs, but right after that is shitty parents. Sadly, our country is overrun with them. Take a look at the World around you, how many people with kids have you seen that your confident are good parents? If your honest with yourself, its slim to none. The main concern with me is young, single Mothers. If your 18 or 19 and pregnant, please, step in front of a speeding Bus, you’ll be doing the World a bit of good. Think back to when you were 18 or 19. Looking at it now, you know whatever relationship you are in at that time, most of the time, it’s not gonna work out. So thats one strike when getting knocked up at that age. Don’t fool yourself either, kids are statistically worse off when raised by a single parent. A Father is almost as important for a child as a Mother, yet they get none of the credit. However, this just scratches the surface.
The main problem is, when your 18, 19, even 20 years old……you barely know whats best for yourself, let alone a new born child. So now, while your worrying about how Britney will fare in the next few months, you need to share that time with a little baby. Its infuriating to see. You may as well drop these kids off in the Woods and let it be raised by Wolves, because you can’t do much worse. Look at some of these Seven and Eight year olds nowadays…. dressed like fucking whores, and in just a few more years, they will be what they dress like. Ever seen Middle School Confessions? It was a show on HBO, America Undercover type deal several years back, with 12 and 13 year olds talking about sucking cock, drinking, giving handjobs, etc. Wanna know why? Because of this very topic. One day, we just stopped treating single Mothers and young Mothers like shit. When this stuff happened decades ago, they would be treated as Pariahs and shunned by a majority of the public. Now its commonplace and almost applauded. “Good for you girl, you don’t need no man!!” Yes, you do, skank, and if not to smack you around for being a fucking dolt, then to take care of the kid when your busy going to the bar on a Wednesday. Kids raising kids, not knowing what they are doing, and bringing up the next generations of whores and criminals. Its disgusting.
Also, two other things, why the need to grow up so fast, and why the need to create another life? What happened to enjoying your youth and saving adult things for, you know, when your an adult? Shit, I’m 26, you think I want a kid at this age? Fuck no, I’m a wreck, I don’t wanna destroy a little kids life, I do a fine enough job of fucking my own life up. Don’t you people have dreams? Aspirations? A future? Instead, you’ll put your life on hold, ruin whatever career you coulda had, and put yourself and your child in a worse financial situation. This shit couldn’t wait ’til your older, or even, *gasp*, married? On top of that, why the need to bring another child into this world? Don’t we have enough people already?? Kids in Foster homes all over the place, but you need to create another life….really? Adopt if you really need a kid, but you won’t, because your selfish, you do it as an ego trip, cuz you want a little version of yourself. If it was about taking care of a life, more people would adopt, but you want another little girl who will also like horrid music and suck cocks at 13, just like you did!
There should be laws in place for having children. One, you gotta be married. I’m not big on marriage, but a married couple has a better chance of raising a healthy, happy, successful child then non-wed. Secondly, you should be over the age of 25. Thirdly, having a specific income level. I’m not sure what that level should be, but people who are financially stable. Forth, a various amount of mental testing, an IQ over 90, whatever it takes. We need to stop having nothing but idiots cranking out kids for more money on a fucking welfare check. You people stink and I hope you die tomorrow.
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Dear self important, self absorbed fuckface. I hope you die.
The cell phone is the fucking worst invention ever. Hey, need a reason to be EVER MORE up your own ass? Here, have a phone where anyone can reach you at anytime!
Answer me this, besides high powered business types, Lawyers and the like, do you REALLY need to be accessible 24 hours a day? Really? Can you be anymore wrapped up in yourself? Oh wait, yes you can!! How about we take these tedious, useless conversations, and even text messages, and do them WHILE DRIVING!! Thats an amazing idea!! Why bother with paying attention to the road or your surroundings when in a couple thousand pound death machine?? Your right, being alert is just silly!
I ride a bike, I walk, and every time I do so, I nearly get run down by some fucking twat talking to her girlfriend about how her nail appointment with Mrs. Soo went. Meanwhile, I’m narrowly escaping being buried under a tire. Before cell phones were around, we had MORE then enough shitty drivers, now the numbers are fucking absurd. If your watching traffic go by, I dare you to see five cars in a row with no one on a phone. I’m shocked they don’t force drivers to take a test while on a phone, because, lets face it, this shit isn’t gonna change.
Now, the initial idea was a good one. Hey, wouldn’t it be great if you get into some emergency with your car, and you can contact family, 911, or AAA? Great idea, in theory, but its just been blown so tits out that I look at most people on a cell phone as being some sort of fucking scumbag. Have you ever worked at a place, or waited in line behind one of these fucking people? Just jabbing away about something no one could care about, ignoring the person trying to serve them, being such rude fucks in the process. I see these people and just hope the get hit by a drunk driver later in the night.
On top of that, I can’t watch late night TV anymore without getting two cell companies trying to sell you shit for your phone, EVERY commercial break. “Text sexy babes like this with “I luv poon” to 44844 now!” No, stupid. Your texting some slob, or worse yet, a dude. Its only costing you a buck a text though, so who cares, you get to whack off to fucking typed words, you desperate shitheel. That or, “To get the Monkey eating a Banana sound, text, “I hate my life” to 32109!!” No, I don’t wanna hear your Sweet Home Alabama ringtone, I don’t care about the wallpaper of a rim spinning, nor do I want to listen to “Do yo chain hang lo” while I wait for you to pick up this ringing object that is ruining the world. I really wish the rumors were true and you would get tumors from prolonged cell phone use, Lord knows you people fucking deserve it.
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Much has been made of Carlos Mencia and Joe Rogan fighting. I don’t really care about Mencia really being a half German named Ned, I get that its an on stage persona, Larry The Cable Guy isn’t a real name either, thats not my problem. My problems with Carlos stem more from his act as a whole.
1. He steals jokes.
This is the main point of the Rogan and Mencia feud. Rogan isn’t really known for his stand up, but hes a solid comic, and I am on his side on this one. People wanna say its sour grapes because Mencia is a bigger name then he is, but if you think about it, Rogan hosted the wildly popular Fear Factor, was on NBC’s hit show, Newsradio, in the mid 90’s, and is heavily involved as an on air personality for UFC, which is growing by leaps and bounds. I don’t think the guy has a lot to be jealous of. I see where he comes from with this. If your a guy doing stand up, struggling with money, playing clubs on a nightly basis to hone your craft, write new material, trying to get a break, and some schmuck comes around, rips off your joke, and makes it big, wouldn’t you be pissed? Hes the guy in the office that catches wind of an idea that would help the company and runs to the boss with it, and gets all the praise and benefits from it. Thats what scumbags do. To rape someone else’s creativity, then use it as your own, and to BENEFIT from it? Its terrible, and its about time someone steps up and speaks out about this shit. If it stops someone from ripping others off, then good, we don’t need another Mencia, or Dennis Leary for that matter, who pretty much ripped off Bill Hicks’ entire act and lifestyle, just short of the dying part, which is really a shame.
2. His delivery.
Many people feel like hes a great performer, joke stealer or not, but I really don’t find him very entertaining. His delivery annoys me, he tries to get loud to prove his point, like it makes it more effective, it worked for Kinnison because he was brilliant. Mencia tries to get loud and throw some Latino slang at the end of his jokes to get a laugh, and I’ll admit, it gets over with most rubes. He tries to push himself soooooo hard as being controversial, and it shows, as his writing and general material, thats actually his, mind you, suffers. Jim Norton is MUCH more controversial, same with Doug Stanhope, and several other comics, they aren’t trying to ram how crazy they are down your throat, they use wit and good writing to get their points across, and if it pisses someone off or offends someone, all the better. I love offensive humor, disgusting jokes, but I don’t like it when someone is telling them for the sole purpose of being controversial, tell the joke if you think its funny, not because it might get your stupid face in a paper somewhere.
3. He’s Dave Chappelle, except less dark, and less funny.
Mencia got the Mind of Mencia show for one reason, and one reason only, Dave Chappelle left. They needed a replacement for the ratings being lost with Dave quitting, and here comes Carlos, with the same basic show Chappelle had. Kudos to Comedy Central for making it a success, not as big as Chappelle Show was, but Mind of Mencia has done well. If you’ll remember, when Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Carolla left The Man Show, they tried to replace it with Doug Stanhope and, shockingly, Joe Rogan. The show failed miserably, and not because of Doug or Joe, or the material on the show, it was because everyone knew that was Adam and Jimmy’s show, and it was shitty of Comedy Central to try and use the same show that wasn’t really created by them. So, learning from their mistakes, instead of someone taking over Chappelle Show, they made up a “new” show, with another comics doing different sketches and bits. So, now we are “blessed” with Mind of Chappelle, errr, Mencia, and its just a shoddy knock off.
So when you wanna see, or hear some comedy, stop going for the guys like Mencia, who are hacks, and look into good comics, like Norton, Brian Regan, Rogan, Daniel Tosh, Stanhope, or several other comics that are legit. You can agree with me or not, it’s your call, but here are a few videos that you can check out.
Stealing from Bill Cosby
This is an Audio Clip of Mencia on a radio show about this whole thing. I apoligize for the awful radio show people, terrible fake laughs and a stupid cunt with an annoying voice. The fact they didn’t bring it up, and were laughing with him shows how fully phoney radio people are, with the exception of Opie and Anthony. Also, the Mikey Radio show?? What a terrible show name.
This is video of Joe Rogan outing Mencia on stage. I’m sure its slanted to one side, but make your own opinions.
Here is Mencia turning a Kinnison bit into a segment for his show.
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